My readers already know I’m a Southern girl. I grew up in a community where the words “Eastern Medicine” and “Holistic Healing” would likely be interpreted as something a doctor from New York would do and some unusual Sunday church ritual (respectively). If you went on to explain that you were actually referring to medicine from East Asia, the person you’d be speaking to might ask, “Is that anything like what them voodoo folk do in New Orleans?”

Some of you may be laughing at me, but after my previous post, I got some emails from folks that were a bit outraged that I suggested that “infertility” is a condition largely made up by pharmaceutical companies to profit off of emotionally vulnerable women.

One man wrote the following:

Angie,

My wife and I are huge fans of your blog. It’s given us a lot of insight and inspiration, but I’m honestly a bit offended that you would say that infertility is “made up.” It feels like a slap in the face to hear you say that.

My wife and I have been trying to conceive for 28 months now, and it’s not looking good for us. How can you tell us we’re just imagining this?!

Perhaps there’s something I’m not understanding about the Eastern view of infertility. Could you please explain this better?

Looking forward to hearing from you,

T——–, NM

I completely understand this reader’s outrage so I’d like to better explain why I’m convinced Eastern medicine holds the key to infertility.

Eastern medicine looks at the entire body a complex interrelated system, and not just at its malfunctioning parts.

As you already know, cancer often originate in one part of the body and spreads to other parts of the body. This sad reality is well known and widely accepted, there is nothing controversial about it. The cancer, although it originates in one place, does not care about distinction of body parts, it sees all cells in the body as the same

Now, let’s talk about how Western medicine perceives and attempts to treat infertility. The Western approach to infertility seeks to find what is “broken” in the reproductive organs and fix it. The assumption is that, if you can’t get pregnant, the problem must originate in the reproductive organs and related glands. However, what if the source of the problem were not actually IN the vagina/uterus/ovaries, but only manifested there. What if the root cause of infertility were actually in the kidneys? As it happens to be, Chinese medicine does believe that the kidneys play a primary role in reproductive health.

Are you surprised?

I found this strange at first too, but I quickly realized that there is absolutely nothing that suggests that my infertility originates in my reproductive system. As it all started to become clearer, I began to see how fertility drugs do not solve the cause of infertility, but only treat it superficially.
Therefore, in order to treat infertility properly,  a holistic, or “whole-body” approach is necessary, and this is precisely what is offered in the Eastern techniques taught in The Pregnancy Miracle.

What with “Energy?” Sounds like hocus-pocus to me.

Not quite. In the Pregnancy Miracle, Lisa discusses different kinds of energies (e.g. ying, yang, chi, etc.) to explain “imbalances” in the body that cause infertility. Although this sounds like some “new age” nonsense at first, it’s actually quite logical. In fact, I now find it bizarre that the concept of energy is entirely missing from Western medicine.

If we accept that the body is indeed a complex, interrelated whole, rather than a bunch of loosely related parts, then we need some way to understand how each part of the body communicates with the rest. Western medicine breaks the body into individual “systems,” where the “blood” is the messenger of the cardiovascular system, neurons are the messengers of the nervous system. But the Western approach still fails to explain how all of these systems coexist within the body. How do they all work together? This is precisely what the concept of “energy” explains in eastern medicine – how the bodies parts function with respect to whole at the most basic level.

Still sound a bit farfetched? Well take this into consideration – Western medicine accepts that the nervous system is literally an electrical network. Read that again, electrical network. So the significant of energies isn’t hocus pocus afterall? Western medicine doesn’t reject the concept of energy in the body, it just offers an incomplete account.

Ok. So what’s this talk about “broken” vs “imbalanced?”

Excellent question. I previously said that my Western doctors labeled me “infertile” due to my abnormally high FSH levels. That’s it. In their eyes, my body was broken. In order to fix it, they would need introduce foreign substances into my body, namely fertility drugs, which made me feel sick and didn’t help me get pregnant for 3 years.

The Eastern approach in The Pregnancy Miracle does not accept that I am broken nor that I need outside help to be fixed. Instead, it believes that I am “imbalanced” and that the “cure” does not require much outside help, but a realignment of the forces within my body. Besides the fact that that is an incredibly empowering mindset, it also opens up pathways to alternative cures for infertility such as acupuncture, herbal supplementation, special dieting, meditation, etc.

With this said, any woman that has been diagnosed as “infertile” should be EXTREMELY interested in the Holistic approach of the Pregnancy Miracle.

I hope this has helped resolve a lot of misconceptions around Eastern medicine as a path to fertility. I am absolutely convinced that the Eastern approach is much more effective for women with fertility problems.

If you haven’t already joined our community of Pregnancy Miracle mommies and daddies , please download the Pregnancy Miracle now. You have too much to gain, and absolutely nothing to lose. Remember, the program comes with a 100% money back guarantee if you’re not absolutely convinced that it will help you get pregnant.

I sincerely hope this post will encourage many more couples to join our no-is-not-an-option fertility community! Can’t wait to have you with us!

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You are what you eat. And so are your babies!

I’ve learned so much about feeding my body properly to help it realign and achieve a maximally fertile state. Lisa Olson, does a great job of explaining nutrition for getting pregnant.

One thing I’ve heard from a lot of women that are not used to eating and cooking the way that Lisa suggests is that they’re not sure that they can do it. Take it from a Southern girl, you can eat an absolutely delicious diet that will help you get pregnant! What’s more, as a free bonus Lisa includes an additional free book of 56 fertility recipes! Here are a few of my absolute favorites.

These recipes are directly from Pregnancy Miracle 14 Day Recipe and Meal Plan from Lisa Olson.

Louisiana Gumbo (I did say I was a Southern girl!)

• 3 TB extra virgin olive oil
• 2 cups onion (chopped)
• 1 cup celery (chopped)
• 2 large tomatoes (chopped)
• 8 cups organic chicken stock (or make your own and you’re the boiled chicken for something yummy later)
• 8 cups pure water
• 4 cloves garlic, minced
• Tamari, black pepper and red pepper – to taste
• .5 – 1 lb. Fish (Chopped – get it as FRESH as you can, avoid tuna and other high mercury-risk fish)
• 2 lbs shrimp, peeled & deveined
• 1 cup frozen clams
• 1 TB parsley (finely chopped)
• ½ teaspoon “gumbo file” (dried, ground sassafras leaves)

Instructions:

Moisten bottom of large soup kettle with 2 TB water, then add oil and heat on medium, until hot. Add onions and celery. Cook until onions are wilted and slightly golden. Then add tomatoes, chicken stock, water and garlic. Cook over medium heat for 30 minutes and season to taste with tamari, black pepper and red pepper. Add all seafood and parsely. Cook for 10 more minutes. Sprinkle a dash of gumbo file on each served dish of gumbo.
Serves 6 (I cook it once and eat it with Mark for 3 days, unless we’re having company)

Turkey Meat Loaf (So easy. Sooo yummy!)

• .25 cup walnuts (ground fine)
• 2 lbs ground turkey
• .5 onion (diced)
• 1 zucchini (diced)
• 8 mushrooms (chopped)
• 1 medium carrot (grated)
• Handful of spinach (finely chopped)
• 1 egg (well beaten)
• 2 teaspoons Spike

Directions:

Preheat oven 350 degrees.

Grind walnuts in blender but don’t over grind or they’ll get oily. Mix all ingredients together. Oil/butter 9”x13” pan and pat mixture into a long loaf.

Bake for ~90 minutes.

Serves 4-6

Aloha Smoothy (Makes every morning feel like summer)

• 2 TB flax seeds
• 2 TB raw macadamia nuts
• 2 TB raw almonds
• 2 TB pecans
• 2 slices organic ginger root (talk about a pick me up)
• 1 papaya (if you can’t find them locally, move )
• ~2 Cups water (you can play around with substituting ice and yogurt for desired texture)
• Stevia to taste

Directions:

Soak nuts and seeds overnight and rinse. Add seeds, nuts, ginger, papaya and a little water to blender. Blend on high until smooth. Add remaining water a little at a time and continue blending until all water is added. Add stevia to taste.

Serves 2 (Sometimes I give 1 to mark, and sometimes I selfishly save the rest for later :evil grin: )

———–

So there you have it, 3 recipes for breakfast, lunch and dinner! All delicious and none particularly difficult to make (the gumbo takes a bit of patience). Worried you’ll run out of recipes? Don’t! Lisa gives you 53 more!

Anybody have any favorite Pregnancy Miracle/Fertility recipes they’d like to share?

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If you’ve read my story, you already know that I spent many years with the belief that I was simply infertile. Nothing more. Nothing less. My doctors labeled me “prematurely menopausal,” and that was my sentence. For a long time, like many other “infertile” women, I felt extremely depressed and it affected my relationships with friends and my husband.

I was broken. I believed it because my doctors believed it.

Deep inside though, somewhere, there was a glimpse of doubt. Disbelief. Hope. And I now realize I should have listened to this part of myself sooner.

As I’ve learned from The Pregnancy Miracle, the idea of infertility, as a type of “brokenness,” is truly a Western construct. It is propagated by a $2 Billion fertility drug industry, who often purchases the favor of doctors. As a result, pharmaceutical companies take advantage of women in their most desperate state.

PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES POISON OUR BODIES WITH CHEMICALS THAT CAUSE IRREVERSIBLE REPRODUCTIVE DAMAGE.

Here is the interesting thing about all of this.

In Chinese, there is no word for “infertile.” Only imbalanced.

It’s a small wonder then that Eastern healers have been helping women conceive for thousands of years with no intervention from harmful pharmaceutical drugs.

So I ask you, are you infertile, or imbalanced?

Did you notice how you actually felt more empowered and able to conceive when you changed your mindset from infertile to imbalanced? Can you feel a realm of possibilities out there? Can you imagine the different paths to “realignment?” When was the last time your doctors tried to help you find balance instead of trying fix you?

These are all of the thoughts that have been going through my head over the past few weeks as a result of reading the Pregnancy Miracle. Besides learning my body better and timing my peak fertility, I have also been using a variety of Eastern techniques and insights to help me get pregnant.

I feel truly blessed that I’ve found the Pregnancy Miracle at this point in my life. I will be posting up some more Eastern fertility secrets in the near future. In the mean time, I ask you to take a step back to reconsider your beliefs about infertility and how you’ve been approaching the challenge of getting pregnant. I hope that, like me and the many women that have joined me on my journey, you will find it within yourself to stop fighting against your body and learn to appreciate its glorious design. I hope that you will find it within yourself to learn to understand your bodies messages, and strive towards a “rebalancing” rather than a “fixing.”

You are not broken. You are beautiful. You will get pregnant.

——–

Just want to send a quick shout out to all of the readers that have emailed and commented. It means the world to me to have you on my side. To all of my Pregnancy Miracle Mom’s and Dad’s that are on this journey at this very moment, please know that I have you in my prayers every night. And if you haven’t yet found the courage to join us, please do. There’s never been a better time to change your life.

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Ok, so maybe the title is a bit inflammatory, but as I mentioned in a previous post, The Pregnancy Miracle really asserts that timing your peak fertility and aligning it with your husband’s peak semen production is a core problem for many couples trying to conceive.
Here are some great methods from the Pregnancy Miracle to better understand your body and know when is your best time to conceive!

FOR HER:

1. Meet your mucus. It’s not a very pretty word to say, but women who are serious about trying to conceive need to become closely acquainted with their cervical mucus. Lisa explains how the mucus changes over the course of the fertility cycle in great detail so you can monitor its change (pg 45-48). On your peak fertility day you cervical mucus will be heavier than any other day of the month. It will feel “wet,” but it will be thick, slippery, and slightly cloudy like an egg white.What, you’re still grossed out by the word mucus? Just say it 3 times fast – mucus, mucus, mucus. Better?
2. What is your cervix telling you? For the majority of your fertility cycle, your cervix stays closed, firm and retracted. However, as your body becomes increasingly fertile, you will feel the cervix actually become softer and slightly open.
3. You’re keeping a calendar, right? Here’s what it comes down to, your peak fertility period is about 48 hours every month.  If you’re looking to get pregnant fast, you need as much data as you can get to predict your peak fertility periods before they happen. This will be especially important so that your hubby has time to properly prepare on his end (more on this below).
4. Basal Body Temperature (BBT), Tried and true. Your body temperature normally fluctuates .1 degrees on any given day, but during periods of increased fertility, your body temperature will actually experience a sustained increase of ~.2 degrees (that’s Fahrenheit for any international readers). The reason so many women have problems with this traditional technique is because it requires the correct tools, accurate record taking, diligent record keeping, and close attention to other temperature affecting factors, such as medicine, illness, lack of sleep, etc. However, learning your BBT is DEFINITELY worth it because it ensures that your eggs will be FRESH for your husband’s FRESH sperm. Fortunately, Lisa includes an exceptional explanation for everything you need to know on this subject in the book (p. 49-52 and 175-177)
5. Isn’t there an easier/faster way? If getting pregnant is at the top of your priorities, you definitely want to be doing everything above, but, understandably, just because you are TTC doesn’t mean you no longer have a life and obligations. Fortunately, there are fertility monitors out there, whose quality ranges from outstanding to crap. If you guys are interested, my friend Joanna offered to post some insight on choosing fertility monitors. Just let me know in the comments below.

FOR HIM:

1. Sir, drop the weapon. If your husband likes to masturbate, I’m not judging, but he needs to cut it out for 3-5 days before your peak fertility period. His body needs to create and store as much sperm as possible during this period so that when he ejaculates on your peak fertility day(s), he is releasing the maximum amount of FRESH sperm. Fresh sperm are far more likely to reach an egg and inseminate it. Also, fresh sperm decrease the likelihood of birth defects, etc.
2. Boys and girls on opposite sides. Naturally, following from the above, it’s wise to abstain from sex in the 3-5 days preceding peek fertility. You certainly want to avoid having excessive sex in those days, as it will only irritate your vagina and decrease the quality of your peak fertility period.
3. Get tested. Not really a timing technique, but you want to make sure that you have an adequate sperm count. You may choose to see a specialist of use a DIY kit. Either way, many couples who are well aware of the female infertility problems ignore that possibility of male fertility issues as well. Test it.

Well, that’s all for now. Mark and I have committed to using all 8 of these methods and I’ll report later with results.

P.S. I’m loving the Pregnancy Miracle! feeling better with my new diet, more relaxed with acupuncture and Mark and I haven’t been this close in years. I feel wiser and happier, and I can honestly say I’m experience changes in my personal view of the world now that so many of my false beliefs about infertility have been dispelled.

As a former skeptic, I strongly encourage anyone who is on the fence about this program to give it a shot.

Post your progress ladies!

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In my last post, I was so caught up in talking about what I had learned in the first section of the Pregnancy Miracle, I forgot to mention something VERY exciting.

…

MY SEX LIFE IS BACK!

I mean really, REALLY back. I can’t remember having this much “fun” in years. Phew…
Ok. I’ll stop now. Maybe for another blog…

Honestly, since Mark and I have committed to the Pregnancy Miracle program, its brought us much closer because we’re 100% focused on getting pregnant together.

Lisa offers some great sex tips for getting pregnant. They’re fun and effective!

1. Lie still for a while! Don’t jump up a run to the bathroom or take a shower. Just take some time to relax and spoon with your hubby and let the sperm swim upstream.  I know some women are paranoid about smelling or being sweaty after sex while others just have odd post-sex rituals that involve getting up and doing this or that, but DON’T DO IT. Just relax for ~30 minutes. Everything else can wait. Use gravity to help the sperm fertilize the egg and use that time to get closer with your husband!
2. Place a pillow under your hips after. This goes back to helping gravity. I personally prefer the pillow during AND after, but different kicks for different chicks
3. There is no magic position. HAVE FUN! Seriously, just do it. Just make sure your hips are tilted upwards after he ejaculates. You don’t want any to drip out!
4. Not too much not too little. Make sure you figure out your peak fertility day and have sex on that day and 2 days prior. Make sure your husband doesn’t ejaculate for 36-48 hours prior to each of those times. This will ensure that you get the maximum amount of sperm to fertilize that egg on those 2 important days. Also, the separation will create a longing and desire that will hopefully result in a more meaningful and passionate experience that will bring you and your husband closer. I know this has been the case for Mark and I.

Don’t want to turn this blog into cosmo, but what can I say, sex is part of the Pregnancy Miracle. The next post will be on more methods of finding and timing your peak fertility day.

By the way, I’ve been hearing phenomenal things from the lovely ladies that have decided join me on the quest to get pregnant using The
Pregnancy Miracle program. Post a progress report in the comments below or join us! It’s never too late to get pregnant!

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A week older, a week wiser, a week closer to getting pregnant! I’ve learned a lot about my body and how to better understand my peak fertility periods.

In the first section of the Pregnancy Miracle, Lisa discusses anatomy and its role in fertility (p. 17 if you’re following along). If you’re like me, you probably let out a quiet groan thinking, “what is this, high school health class?” But I was pleasantly surprised to find that Lisa offers some very useful and actionable information that has helped me learn my body better and take advantage of my most fertile periods.

First of all, although I know what my doctors have told me about elevated FSH levels and premature menopause, I understand my condition MUCH better after reading Lisa’s detailed, but completely understandable breakdown of the menstrual process (page 22-24). What’s happen is that the Follicle Stimulating Hormones (aka FSH) is inhibiting my body from creating the necessary estrogen for my eggs to mature and my uterus to prepare itself for incubating a fertilized egg.

Western medicine has conveniently labeled me “prematurely menopausal” just to sell me a bunch of drugs. I still have eggs! How is that menopausal?! I’m wondering how many other women are deceived and mislabeled just to make the jobs of pharmaceutical reps easier.

Anyway, Lisa really asserts that “Timing is Everything” (page 24). To this end, Lisa offers a unique way of identifying when you are at the peak of your fertility period, by getting to know your cervical mucus and how it changes over the course of your menstrual cycle (pages 45-48).

This is really fascinating and not something that any other “fertility coach” has taught me. I have put a monthly calendar on my nightstand to record the quantity and texture of my cervical fluid every night. The day that the fluid is thickest and heaviest is my peak fertility day and that’s when Mark has to do his best work!

Lisa discusses a few other great ways to time my peak fertility, but I’ll save that for my next post.

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After my last post, I got some comments, as well as some emails asking if I was sure I had made the right choice picking the Pregnancy Miracle as my getting pregnant gameplan.

Honestly, I think it’s a no brainer. Here’s a quick explanation why.

1. There is a 100% money back guarantee. How many books at Barnes and noble can you return after you’ve read the whole thing, and carried it around in your purse for 8 weeks?
2. I really believe this will work! Most other pregnancy books are either memoirs or some kind of feel-good nonsense. As much as I appreciate a book that can make me smile and feel better about myself, I WANT TO GET PREGNANT! This is the only book that takes a 100% unique approach focused on holistic fertility cures.
3. This book offers an ACTIONABLE plan. Going back to my 2nd point, most of the other books are a mess of fertility “thoughts” without an actual “HOW TO.” The Pregnancy Miracle lays it all out in a comprehensive an actionable way!
4. It’s based on 14 years of fertility research from a previously infertile woman! Don’t get me wrong, I respect the guys in white lab quotes, but there’s really something to be said for the wisdom of a woman who has dedicated her life to solving her own fertility problems as well as those of thousands of other women as well.
5. It comes with a consultation from the Author! Ever read a book and think “yeah, that sounds really great, but what about x, y, and z???” Well, when you purchase the Pregnancy Miracle, you get to actually SPEAK to the author. I’m very excited that I got in on this while Lisa is still offering it!

The way I see it, I’m either going to get pregnant, or get wiser. Either way, it’s a step closer to pregnancy and that is what I’m trying to achieve.

I hope this better explains my decision. So please do both of us a favor, instead of sending me an email saying, “but what about this,” JUST DOWNLOAD THE BOOK! If you don’t like it, YOU CAN GET YOUR MONEY BACK!

Come on ladies. Talk is cheap! Let’s make some babies!

I’ve already read through the entire book (took me less than a day). My next post will be about my first steps with the Pregnancy Miracle program.
Please share your first experiences with the program in the comments below!

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In my last post, I explained how Mark and I had gotten to where we are today and that we were absolutely determined to get pregnant!
After quite a bit of research, we think that we’ve found the right program for us.

At this point, even my doctors have given up on me. They have declared me infertile, and that’s that. But I refuse to believe that I am broken. I have heard of “miracles,” however, instead of wishing for a miracle, I’d rather just find WHAT WORKS – and I think I’ve finally found it.

As I’ve learned recently, the business of “getting women pregnant” is a $2 BILLION industry dominated by pharmaceutical giants who are practically in bed with legislators and will do ANYTHING to keep selling us suffering women their snake oil! Why? BECAUSE WE BUY IT! But we’re not stupid, are we? No. Absolutely not. What we are is hopeful. We pray that each new self-proclaimed “get pregnant fast!” drug is the answer to our prayers. The pharmaceutical companies recognize this and they milk our most fragile emotions for every last penny.
AND SO WHAT?! What do I have to show for all the crappy fertility pharmaceuticals I’ve polluted my body with for the past few years? Nothing. Just an even greater feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction.

NO MORE SNAKE OIL.

THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING OUT THERE THAT WORKS.

THERE HAS TO BE A WAY FOR ME TO GET PREGNANT!

And I think I’ve found it… (erm, rather Mark found it.)

While cruising the ocean of mommy-blogs, parenting forums, etc., Mark came upon a story from a woman name Joanna from Oklahoma who got pregnant for the first time in her late 30s after years of trying. What was even more interesting was that, like me, she had abnormally high FSH levels and her doctors had declared her hopelessly infertile.
How did she do it? What was her “miracle?”

Joanna attributed her pregnancy to her willingness to turn her back on Western fertility treatments and embrace the holistic approach of Eastern medicine that has been refined and tested over thousands of years. Now, I’m not one for New-Age hocus pocus, but from what Joanna explained, the Eastern approach wasn’t some mystical nonsense, but a more COMPLETE approach to a complex and multidimensional problem. The Ancient Chinese Cures recognize that in some women, infertility could be linked to the liver or the kidneys, while Western medicine prefers not to look beyond the uterus and ovaries.

Of everything I had heard up to this point, this made sense to me.

This sounded like it could truly work.

And I didn’t have to do it alone!

I asked Joanna where I could get more information and she told me before she got pregnant, she too was completely ignorant of the extremely effective Eastern fertility cures. However, to her luck, she found a book called The Pregnancy Miracle. The Pregnancy Miracle was written by a woman name Lisa Olson, who was declared 100% infertile, and instead of accepting her fate, she made it her life’s goal to find a fertility solutions that works! Lisa first got pregnant at 43 and now has 2 wonderful children!
Luckily for us, Lisa published 14 years of fertility research into The Pregnancy Miracle.

So after talking to Joanna and doing some more research I decided to purchase The Pregnancy Miracle!

I’m very excited to get started! The Pregnancy Miracle offers a comprehensive, step by step method to getting pregnant using the secrets of Ancient Chinese medicine. I hope the ladies that have joined me on this journey will pick up the book for themselves as I’ll be posting my experiences and I hope you will be able to share yours with me as well!

Let’s go ladies, there are babies to be made! Plus there’s a 100% guaranty money back guarantee, so it’s a win win in my book!
IF YOU ARE JOINING ME ON THE PREGNANCY MIRACLE JOURNEY, LET ME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS BELOW!

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Today I spoke to my wonderful husband, Mark, about my infertility. For the past 3 years its been such a sensitive issue on both of our ends, we’ve not really been able to discuss it properly as compassionate adults.

Having put our hardships behind us, Mark and I are 100% focused on figuring out HOW CAN I GET PREGNANT together.

Before I tell you what we decided is our next step, let me tell you a bit about mine and Mark’s situation on how we got where we are right now…

Mark, or Staff Sergent Markus Wilson as he’s known to some , and I met during our last year of college. He was in the Army and I knew that if I stayed with him, I would have to endure long periods of separation while he went away on deployments. But hey, love is love, deployment shmeployment. After years of being separated for many months at a time, Mark proposed to me on my 27th birthday. When Mark was 29, he was called to duty for 1 last time, and right  before he left I made him a promise. I told Mark that if he promised me that he’d come back well and in 1 piece (just as I’d made him promise me many times before), I would give him a little boy and we would call him Lucas, after Mark’s recently deceased father, Sergeant Major Lucas Wilson.

Mark came back and I was ecstatic.  That night, we went “right to work.” I had promised him a baby after all

However, as the months went on, the hope and excitement slowly faded into anxiety, embarrassment and tension. Our sex life had quite literally become “work.” Romance went out the window and was now replaced with stress and humiliation, but I loved Mark and I wanted to be the woman that gave him a child. I wanted to create a family together.

After 18 months of trying to get pregnant, I could no longer live in denial so I went to the gyno to find out what was going on. Up to this point I was fairly healthy with no real problems. However, after the less-than-lovely gyno visit, I waited for 4 days to hear the results. I don’t think I go much sleep those 96 hours, because all I could think about it what getting pregnant.

And then the results came-

Dr: Angella?

Me: Yes…

Dr: Angella… your tests came back.

[Silence]

…Angella, I’m sorry to tell you this, but your FSH levels are beyond abnormally high for a woman your age.

Me: I’m sorry, I’m not sure I follow.

Dr: …in 99.9% of cases this means 1 thing – Premature Ovarian Failure.

[silence]

Premature Menopause.  That’s why you haven’t been able to conceive.

Me: Menopause?! I’m 32 years old?! That Can’t be right!

Dr: I’m sorry Angella, I really sympathize with you, but it’s my responsibility to relay this news to you honestly. I know it must be very difficult to handle. I understand if you’d like to get a second opinion.

Second opinion?! Hell, I got 3 opinions!
So what? They were all the same. My uterus had retired 15-20 years before I supposed to, and somehow, in the blink of an eye, I felt like an old, lonely woman inhabiting the body of a previously healthy, enthusiastic and hopeful mother to be. My uterus would never be a nest for a wonderful little baby boy or girl, but a tomb. A dark, locked chamber inside my body that would serve as an ongoing reminder that I had been somehow cruelly punished for a crime I’d never committed.

The next 3 years of my life were filled with confusion about my future, depression, self-pity and CONSTANT conflict with Mark.

As I mentioned in my first post, I had a major life changing event recently, a death in the family, that has allowed me to switch from the “Why Can’t I Get Pregnant?” cry of desperation to the “How Can I Get Pregnant?”  quest for success.

Since this post is so long, in the next post , I will explain what Mark and I have decided to do in my NEXT post.

Side note: My first post encourage 15 women to subscribe! I am really motivated by knowing that I will be helping other women with my story! So please, it would mean the world to me if you would subscribe to “How Can I Get Pregnant?” and joined me on my no-is-not-an-option journey to pregnancy.

Having put our hardships behind us, Mark and I are 100% focused on figuring out HOW CAN I GET PREGNANT  together.
Before I tell you what we decided is our next step, let me tell you a bit about mine and mark’s situation on how we got where we are right now.
Mark, or Staff Seargent Markus Wilson as he’s known to some , and I met during our last year of college. He was in the Army and I knew that if I stayed with him, I would have to endure long periods of separation while he went away on deployments. But hey, love is love, deployment shmeployment. After years of being separated for many months at a time, Mark proposed to me on my 27th birthday. When Mark was 29, he was called to duty for 1 last time, and right  before he left I made him a promise. I told Mark that if he promised me that he’d come back well and in 1 piece (as I’d made him promise me many times before), I would give him a little boy and we would call him Lucas, after Mark’s recently deceased father, Seargent Major Lucas Wilson.
Mark came back and I was ecstatic.  That night, we went “right to work.” I had promised him a baby afterall
However, as the months went on, the hope and excitement slowly faded into anxiety, embarrassment and tension. Our love life had quite literally become “work.” In some ways, I remember, it was humiliating, but I truly loved Mark and I wanted to be the woman that gave him a baby and raise our wonderful children together.
After 18 months of trying to get pregnant, I could no longer live in denial so I went to the gyno to find out what’s going on. Up to this point I was fairly healthy with no real problems. After the less-than-lovely gyno visit I waited for days to hear the results. The question of “How Can I Get Pregnant?” seemed to be consuming my every waking thought.
And then the results came-
“Angella?
–Yes…
Angella… your tests came back.
[Silence]
Angella, I’m sorry to tell you this, but your FSH levels are beyond abnormally high for a woman your age.
–I’m sorry, I’m not sure I follow.
…in 99.9% of cases this means 1 thing – Premature Ovarian Failure.
[silence]
Premature Menopause.  That’s why you haven’t been able to conceive.
–Menopause?! I’m 32 years old?! That Can’t be right!
I’m sorry Angella, it’s my responsibility to relay this news to you honestly. I know it must be very difficult to handle. I understand if you’d like to get a second opinion.
Second opinion?! Hell, I got 3 oppinions!
So what? They were all the same. My uteris had retired 15-20 years before I supposed to, and somehow, in the blink of an eye, I felt like an old, lonely woman inhabiting the body of a previously healthy, enthusiastic and hopeful mother to be.
The next 3 years of my life were filled with confusion about my future, depression about being forbidden from what I wanted most, self-pity for my undeserved sentence, and CONSTANT conflict with Mark.
As I mentioned in my first post, I had a major life changing event recently (I’m not sure I feel comfortable posting it here yet) that has allowed me to switch from the “Why Can’t I Get Pregnant?” cry of desperation to the “How Can I Get Pregnant?”  search for answers.
Since this post is so long, in the next post , I will explain what Mark and I have decided to do and keep you updated on my journey.
My first post encourage 15 women to subscribe! I am really motivated by knowing that I will be helping other women with my story! So please, it would mean the world to me if you would subscribe to “How Can I Get Pregnant?” and followed me on my no-is-not-an-option journey to pregnancy.

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: Deep Breath :
I have decided to start this blog because for the past 3 years I have been suffering.

I’m not going to do that anymore.

I’ve recently suffered a loss in my family, which, although painful, was also a “wake-up call” that life was short and that I had to stop pitying myself for being infertile.

I am no longer going to go to sleep crying. I won’t be having anymore nightmares.

These are things that used to be common in my life and they are no longer welcome. I am strong.

Moreso than anything else, the greatest change I have undergone in the past few weeks is that my mindset has changed from-

Why Can’t I Get Pregant?
To
How Can I Get Pregnant?

It’s no longer an option. I’m going to do this. I am not broken. I am a good person. I have not been irresponsible, and I’ll BE DAMNED if I’m going to let “fate” take that away from me.

I’m starting this journal, How Can I Get Pregnant?, to share my journey and experiences with other women in hopes that I will be able to help them, and perhaps someday, I will save another beautiful, kind woman a night of going to sleep crying, or a morning of waking up feeling depressed and meaningless. Perhaps I can save her a from a needless, anxiety driven fight with her wonderful husband, or a falling out with her pregnant best friend/sister (in case you haven’t noticed, these are the events that have characterized the past 3 years of my life).

Please subscribe follow me on my journey from prematurely menopausal to ecstatically pregnant. I don’t know how long it will take, but I do know that it will be much more rewarding if we make it there together!

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